just sad

I am beyond upset. I am feeling stupid and somehow redundant. I never thought life is perfect but I truly believe mine was not that bad.

I had always refrain from writing anything here when I was not feeling good, well sometimes I would post something about a bad cold, or a not so good day but mostly I filter my emotions and try to keep my blog light.

Today I feel quite different about it.

I am hurt and for once I don’t know how to deal with it. It crossed my mind calling one of my dear best friends and ask for their help. Ask them to make me feel better. I do know they both are capable of cheering me up but somehow if I do call them I would have to say stuff that right now I am not comfortable to say. Because it would mean I have to admit being wrong, or worse than that to admit I do not have what I thought I did.

I wish I could do what he does, just ignore it, just pretend nothing happened. Just pretend it does not change anything.

Unfortunately he does not believe in saying “I am sorry”, he probably does not even think he needs to say it.

If you take someone for granted it stops you from making the effort to be nice.  It also stops you for saying “I am sorry” when you are not nice.

I always have been big about celebrating special occasions. Next Monday it will be 8 years since I move here.

Now I found myself wondering if there is anything to celebrate about it?